


She Feels Like Ice

by Arcwitch_9



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Realization, Sad, Siblings, they all changed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 05:13:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11730213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arcwitch_9/pseuds/Arcwitch_9
Summary: She really wished Jon were here. The one family member who seemed the same. Still somber, still good, still Jon. He kept the small fragment of herself from disappearing, from turning into ice.





	She Feels Like Ice

**Author's Note:**

> So I have never written for this fandom before, but after reading all the negative comments on the leaked clips of Game Of Thrones pertaining to Sansa's behavior, I wanted to write this perspective. 
> 
> Below is a fanfic dedicated to the 7x04 leaked clips. SPOILERS 
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)

 

She grinds her teeth at Littlefinger's voice. He never leaves her alone now that Jon is gone. Her steps are paced evenly, they do not quicken with her rising anger. It is the one thing she has learned from him, to wear the mask everyone expects. She does so now as the cold wind bites at her face and the wood beneath her feet creaks. She pauses when she hears Arya speak to Brienne.

 

Her eyes lighten as they gaze over the small dark haired girl.

 

_No_ she corrects herself... _Woman. So much has changed, so many years apart.... and now Arya is grown._ She swallows at the thought, her broken family slowly coming back together. She is grateful Arya has returned. _Jon left and Bran... is not Bran anymore. But Arya smiles just as she did as a child, free and full of mischief...though her eyes have the edge of sadness, just like mine._

The two women face off ready to fight. _Just like Arya,_ her lips twitch in a small smile. She quickly hides the momentary lapse of control. Littlefinger is too close, to aware of everything. She needs to be better at hiding.

 

The swish of sword and the quick maneuvers of her little sister cause her to pause her thoughts. When Brienne kicks Arya she thinks the duel might be over. But her face slowly shows fear as she sees how fast, how precise, Arya moves. The words they shared in the crypt drift to the front of her mind. ' _The list of people I'm going to kill.'_ She took it as a joke. Something her sister wishes she could do. But now, seeing her spin and deflect with no emotion on her little face, Sansa thinks otherwise.

 

As they finish and a smile comes over her sister's face, Sansa's sets into a hard line. She turns and walks towards her chambers.

 

Her thoughts are spinning, her pace is faster than she would have liked, but if she doesn't get to her room soon....then everyone will see.

 

She locks the latched behind her as the door bangs closed. Sansa's breath is fast eyes glistening as the thoughts continue to bombard her.

 

_I'm such a stupid girl_...Her hand clutches at her chest. As if she could tear out her heart. Her nails pinch through the thick fabric of her dress, _don't cry, don't cry...can't let them see._

She stumbled into a chair by the open window, the wind howled as snowflakes fell on the frozen ledge.

 

She thought for one glorious moment in time, that she could go back. Back to before they went south. Bran was different, cold, unfeeling, lost in the visions he could see. She loved him deeply, but her brother was gone...dead. She couldn't remember the last thing she said to him before his fall, before she went south, too busy trying to please Joffery.

 

_I ignored them all..._ Her thoughts were a broken whisper within her mind.

 

He was back, back home. But he was a shell of the brother she knew. No easy smiles or quick retorts, just brown eyes staring into nothing and everything all the time.

 

She thought it would be a little different when Arya came home. When her arms wrapped around Sansa and squeezed back just as fiercely, hope seared into her chest. Hope that their family wasn't completely broken.    

 

Sansa gripped the wooden ledge as if she were falling.

 

_Seeing her like that...no emotion, just deadly moves._ She puffed out a breath, watching as it curled in the air, ' _She's on my list....The list of people I'm going to kill._ ' Sansa shut her eyes at the painful words, _my little sister...gone. She moved too well, too fast...how much blood does she have on her hands?_

Her little sister, the one she use to tell stories too when they were little. The little sister that would throw food at her and giggle crazily. Who would dart about the castle with so much joy in the world. She was truly gone.

 

_I'm an idiot,_ Sansa's eyes opened slowly glistening with unshed emotion. _Of course she's changed, of course she's gone...Bran is gone, I'm...I'm almost gone myself. Too many horrors to not be gone._

She really wished Jon were here. The one family member who seems the same. Still somber, still good, still Jon. He kept the small fragment of Sansa from disappearing. The little sliver that Ramsay couldn't take, the one Littlefinger was trying to corrupt, and the part that was being drained by ruling Winterfell. She thought Arya would be more like Jon, a little changed, but still Arya. Seeing her fight, seeing the darkness beneath the cool composure, froze Sansa to the core. _She's better at hiding than I am._

 

_Everything is different, everyone has changed._ That small fragment that Sansa had left, the sliver of hope  was turning to ice now. She could feel it, in her chest, the cold was seeping in now. The Stark children were truly gone now. Nothing left but what this chaos gave them; visions, a political  mind, and death.

 

_At least Jon is still Jon,_ she thought.

"I wish Jon were here." She whispers to the open window. The ice she was fighting was starting to creep back up, solidifying what was left of her heart.


End file.
